Pop idols and rock ‘n’ roll stars are notorious for their outlandish behaviour and wacky antics, whether it be Michael Jackson dangling an infant over a balcony, Liam Gallagher attempting to fight a journalist or The Sex Pistols berating Bill Grundy on his own TV show. That being said, it is bizarre that something as innocuous as growing a beard has caught the attention of thousands of irritated music fans – so irritated, in fact, that a petition to have the frontman in question’s beard removed has been created, and is available to sign right now.

This is the peculiar situation involving Arctic Monkeys rocker Alex Turner, who has seemingly sparked disgust in his fans by growing out his facial hair – the petition, titled ‘Alex Turner: Banish The Beard!’, has 2,252 signatures as of 12th February 2018. The creator of this digital movement is disgruntled Monkeys-lover Eabha Lynn, who wrote, “[Turner]… had the opportunity to age like fine wine. It all went dreadfully wrong, however, when he decided to grow a beard.”

Supporters ranging from Chelmsford in the UK to Albuquerque in the US have signed the appeal, with some leaving comments and reasons for their assistance; some in the form of puns: “He doesn’t look good on the dancefloor anymore,” and some as pure sarcasm: “I stand for what’s right in the world”.

It’s no secret that this apparent musical activist isn’t alone. The fact that over 2,000 people have already put their name down in support is both overkill and yet thoroughly entertaining; it is this kind of pettiness that only the worshippers of rock bands are recognised for. There’s loitering outside a venue 14 hours before a band are scheduled to come on to ensure a good spot, and there’s creating a petition to garner the support of thousands in order to remove a man’s beard – both are done in the name of total love and affection for one’s musical heroes.

You too can join the good fight here: https://www.change.org/p/alex-turner-banish-the-beard

Article by Connor Winyard.

George Millington